Cam's Downward Spiral
by Gypsy Love
Summary: A deep depression has gripped Cam and Zack is worried. Zack takes it on himself to fix Cam's dark mood.
1. Chapter 1

Cam looked up at Zack, then down at the floor. They were both dressed the same, red sweater, white shirt and black tie. The school uniform. If Cam had been standing he would have been several inches taller than Zack, but Zack stood over him and gazed down.

"Cam, c'mon," Zack used his pleading voice. Cam glared at him, pushed his hair off his forehead and looked down again.

"No, Zack. No. Don't you get it? I'm not going with you to class, to the movies after school, to your house, nowhere. Now leave me alone,"

Zack shook his head and walked away slowly, out of the dim and dusty library with the long old windows set deep into the walls. Cam wasn't mad at him, he knew, but life in general. He'd watched things pile up on Cam in the past few weeks and knew that he was heading for one of his slumps. Girl rejection, failing tests, getting caught at little things he should have been able to get away with, his parents coming down on him about the tests and the detentions, Zack could see it coming alright.

He headed to class himself, Algebra, a real snooze class. And Cam would be skipping, and getting in more trouble. But that was the self-destructive way Cam could get when he was pushed to the wall. He always made the bad situation worse.

In the class Zack squirmed through the roll call and the silence after Cam's name was called. The teacher, an almost painfully thin man with softly graying hair, looked right at him.

"Zack, where is your friend?"

"Who? Cam? Uh, haven't seen him,"

"Oh no? Because he isn't on the absent list which means that at some point today he was here. If you know where he is I would suggest you convince him to join the class, unless he wants consequences beyond a detention,"

"Well, I might have some idea of where he is…"

"Then I would suggest you go and get him, so go,"

Zack stood up, walked slowly from the classroom back to the library. Cam was where he had left him. He didn't look up or acknowledge him in any way.

"Cam?"

No response.

"Cam? I'm talking to you, can't you at least talk back?"

"What Zack? What?"

"I was sent to get you for Algebra class,"

"Well, I'm not going. Didn't I just tell you that?"

Zack sighed. This had happened once before, this slump, and he hadn't been able to get through to him then, either.

"Look, Cam, the teacher said the consequences are going to be a lot worse than just detention unless you get to that class so I suggest you come with me,"

"No,"

"Jesus, Cam. Can't you see that you're making things worse? Now come to this stupid class with me or I'll drag you there,"

Nothing. Cam just looked at his black school shoes and the dusty wooden floor. Zack had had it. He grabbed Cam's sleeve and pulled him out of the chair. Cam stumbled then shook free from Zack's grasp.

"Alright, God, I'll go with you. Quit pulling me,"

The teacher smiled thinly at Zack and frowned at Cam, but Cam hardly seemed to notice. He sat at his desk, his chin resting on his hand, and stared into space. Zack didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 6 7 8 9 0

"I'm worried about Cam," He said to the girl with the long brown hair and apple cheeks. Mary. She smiled at him.

"I'm sure he's fine. Everyone gets upset once in awhile,"

"Yeah, but this is different. He's not just upset, he's beyond that. I'm worried, that's all,"

Mary tilted her head and smiled at him again.

"That's sweet. You're a good friend,"

"I guess," But he didn't feel like a good friend because he didn't know what to do or how to help him. He'd have to figure out a way.


	2. Chapter 2

Gwen ran up to Zack after school, standing in front of him as he tried to walk home, making him stop.

"Zack," she said, the urgency in her voice.

"Gwen," he said, sounding tired. He felt tired. Cam had made him tired.

"What is going on with Cam?" she said, and he noticed her full red cheeks and worried brown eyes. She loved him, loved Cam. It was clear to Zack now.

He pushed by her, shifted his bag to his other shoulder, kept walking.

"Cam's depressed. It's bad. And I don't know how to help him,"

Gwen fell into step beside him, not saying anything, yet. She would. Doubtless she would.

"We really should help him," she said, her voice always having that adult quality that was beyond her years. The trees swayed overhead, and Zack noticed a few that were bright red.

"Yeah, great, Gwen, we've got to help him! But how, huh? I don't know what to do,"

She didn't say anything again, and they walked on, their footsteps echoing in the bright clear air.

"Where is he now?" she said, and Zack shrugged, mumbled that he didn't know.

"You don't know?" she squeaked, grabbing onto his jacket and he shrugged out of her grasp.

"No, not really. I think he's staying after school for missing half of algebra class,"

"Okay, so we've got to go and wait for him. We've got to show him that we're here for him, you know?" Gwen, so ernest, so altruistic. Zack had to smile.

"Sure, Gwen, but you don't get it. He doesn't care,"

They turned around, went back into the school building, and it seemed so dusty and dead to Zack with most everybody gone. The life went out of it, and dust motes flashed and danced in the gold afternoon light streaming into the school from the huge windows. Their footsteps echoed against the floors and walls and he was sure everyone was aware of their presence. Upstairs to the second floor, to the algebra class, and through the little square window on the door to the classroom they saw him. He was sitting at one of the front row desks, his head down, and the teacher sat behind the big teacher desk and read some dark leather bound book.

"There he is," Gwen whispered, and Zack nodded.

"Yeah. There he is. Now what?"

"Now we wait for him,"

Gwen set her bag down and sat on the hallway floor, her back against the lockers, and Zack sat next to her. Waiting. It was okay, even though time seemed to spin on and away, to separate like taffy, to fall in on itself like some circular equation. He could hear all the clocks from the different classrooms ticking behind the doors, could see the gold light changing in texture and quality, more orange and more red. Sunset. The air grew colder. He looked at Gwen's navy blue tights and sensible school shoes, properly scuffed, her skirt falling against her knees. Looked at the sharp crease in his own pants, the way the cuffs looked against the black leather of his shoes. Clocks ticked on and still they waited for Cam.

He came out slowly behind the teacher, who nodded at him and Gwen, and Zack noticed how slow Cam's movements were. He didn't even look at them or appear to notice them at all. He sighed, knowing that would send Gwen into a frenzy. She jumped up.

"Cam!" she shouted, and got in front of him. Slowly he looked up at her. He didn't say or do anything, just stood there.

"Cam, what is going on?" Gwen said, putting her hands on his shoulders. He let her touch him, whereas if it was Zack who had touched him he would have shrugged away, Zack knew. He hadn't even stood up, just watched the proceedings from his space on the hallway floor.

"Nothing," his voice soft, head down, and the response was barely more than a mumble. Gwen narrowed her eyes, tightened her grip on his shoulders, put her head down like a warrior ready to go into battle.

"I don't think it's nothing," she said, her voice softer, and Zack heard the sympathy creeping into it. From his vantage point he noticed a tiny run in her navy blue tights.


	3. Chapter 3

Cam. Tall. Taller than both of them. Kind of skinny, long limbs, and Zack had always been envious of his height, of his easy good looks, of his odd pull on the opposite sex. When Cam would smile, sometimes, it could light up the damn room. But he wasn't smiling now. He wasn't frowning. He was expressionless. He didn't even seem to notice them.

Zack felt the locker he was leaning against almost digging into his back. The hallway floor was dull and dirty. He wondered when the janitors washed and waxed it. He could see them in their faded blue overalls and bucket full of soapy water, the mop going in and out with the rhythmic monotony.

"Cam," Gwen said, her voice soft and sad. He looked at her, his head tilted down just a little.

"What?" Cam said softly, and Zack watched them like one watches a tennis match, his head whipping around from one speaker to the next.

"What is wrong?" Gwen said, and Cam looked down at the floor, wouldn't answer. She looked over at Zack then, the dismay and lack of direction in her expression. 'What do we do?' her look said, and Zack shrugged. He was out of ideas.

"We're all going to Zack's house," Gwen announced, gripping Cam's shoulder. Like some lifeless doll he let her dig her fingers into his shoulder. Zack looked at her with wide eyes.

"Okay, Zack, that's okay, right?" Gwen said with the insistence that made it hard for him to say no.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so-"

"Good. C'mon, Zack, get up. We're going,"

The light was dim, fading into dusk. The leaves rustled in the breeze that was just above their heads, a stream of air that didn't touch them. Cam didn't say he had to go home, like Zack sort of thought he would. He didn't say anything, just walked slightly behind them. It was eerie.

He could hear their shoes on the road, the slightly different sound that Gwen's shoes made with their chunky heels, sort of a double thwapp sound. He could hear cars off in the distance but none were on this road. This road was as eerily quiet as Cam was.

Zack's apartment loomed in the distance. Gwen and Zack looked up at it, Cam didn't notice.

"A light's on in your apartment," Gwen said, and Zack nodded.

"Yeah. It's late. My dad's home,"

The thought occurred to him, as he watched Cam take slow steps that seemed almost painful, as he walked with his head down and eyes fixed firmly on the ground. Maybe his dad could help them with Cam. It seemed to be beyond him and Gwen. Then he looked at Gwen, her head held high, the determined air she had in her forceful movements and the energy in her steps. Gwen wouldn't think it was beyond them.

The building took them in, and Zack looked at the double row of gray metal mailboxes that were in that front area beyond the first glass door but before the second one. Inside, and down the hallway and to the stairs, and he felt like shoving Cam to get him moving, he kept lagging behind. But he didn't want to touch him.

He opened the door to his apartment and could smell supper cooking merrily away.

"Zack! You're late!" his father said cheerfully, and took in his glum expression.

"Yeah, dad, I know. We waited for Cam. Is it okay if Gwen and Cam have supper with us?"


	4. Chapter 4

Meat and gravy. Zack looked at the gravy boat in the center of the table, a line of gravy hardening down its side. The white linen table cloth brushed against the top of his pants. He could feel Gwen kicking her legs under the table nervously. Cam stared down at his plate of food, the fork useless in his hand.

"So, Zack, how was school?" his father said, sensing that something was wrong. He glanced at Cam with his sheep dog look of puzzlement, then he looked at Zack. Zack shrugged.

"Uh, okay, I guess," he said, and Gwen gave him a sharp look. He looked back at her in alarm. Did she want him to spill everything about Cam right here and now? Right in front of him?

"Gwen, it's nice to see you," his dad said, talking to Gwen but glancing at Cam. Cam was expressionless, staring at the food he wasn't eating.

"Thank you, Mr. Green," she said brightly, despite the worry over Cam that was gathering like storm clouds. It was something Zack admired but also distrusted about Gwen, her ability to pull it together and play the part despite the circumstances. He hadn't quite mastered that yet.

"Cam, aren't you hungry?" his dad said, and Cam didn't even look up.

"Cam?" Now there was more insistence in his tone, more of the adult, 'you will respond' steel. Zack's eyes widened. Cam lifted his eyes up to Zack's dad's face, heavily and with effort.

"Uh, no, Mr. Green. I'm just not hungry,"

"Have you eaten anything all day?" Zack suddenly blurted out, causing both Gwen and his dad to whip their heads around at his shrill tone. At least it got Cam to look at him.

"Yeah, I've eaten," Cam said, and Zack was relieved to hear anger and annoyance creeping into Cam's voice. He'd been way too zombie like for hours now.

"Oh, yeah? What?" Zack said, staring holes through Cam, but relishing the eye contact. He felt like he could almost reach him. But he looked down, the fight going out of him like sails deflating. He shrugged. Zack looked helplessly at Gwen and she gave him a look he couldn't quite interpret.

"Why were you so late?" his dad said, and Zack and Gwen both glanced over at Cam. He didn't look up.

"Well, Cam had to stay after school and we waited for him," Zack said, and watched his dad wipe gravy from the corner of his mouth. Gwen continued to swing her legs, kicking the chair leg. Cam dipped his fork into the mashed potatoes and took a small bite, grimacing like it was medicine.

"You could call, you know," his dad said, but he wasn't really mad. He didn't start to really worry until after supper. If he still hasn't appeared by then that's when the calls start.

"Yeah, I know," He wanted to spill it to his dad, that Cam was clinically depressed or something and how worried they were, but he couldn't say that right in front of him. So Zack suffered under the small talk, keeping one eye on Cam and his slow movements and downcast eyes.

After dinner, dishes drip drying in the plastic dish drain, the T.V. on and blaring away, his dad called him over.

"What's wrong with Cam?" he whispered, drying a dish with the printed dishtowel that was nearly see through.

"I don't know. He's been like this all day. He won't hardly talk to us, he was going to skip every class if I hadn't dragged him to algebra. I just don't know,"


End file.
